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Photo: Pixabay

Photo: PIxabay

Photo: Pixabay

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It’s been a week since the Orlando massacre… and what a week. What has emerged? Grief, guns, religion, politicos—oh my! I guess, the usual…but perhaps felt on a deeper level. Why? For the queer community the grief runs deep as it was not only a larger number of our community shot, killed, and injured—but it was in our safe space. Our haven—the gay/queer nightclub—is no longer safe and that has shaken us to our cores. There have been many responses to this particular aspect of the event, one of which being more police patrols at Pride events and our queer club scene. On the outside this is supposed to be comforting and I don’t doubt that there are many well-intentioned police officers who are taking this task with utmost care and concern. However, for our community it poses more threats than safety. See, our community has not had a good relationship with law enforcement historically. You can read about it here and here.  And so there are members of our community who will stay home—isolated because of fear from the increased security response. This isolation is but one element that causes much harm in our community. It is what contributes to mental illness, suicide, and other health concerns. It is not time for us to be isolated…and Pride events along with our club scene are two of many ways for us to be in community and check in with one another. You see, many can’t go to church. Many of us are still closeted at work. School is out and the youth who are fortunate enough to be part of a gay-straight alliance are without support--for those who are lucky to have this.

Many youth are in unsupportive homes with bullies down the hallway as well as in the neighborhood and so they are on the street or friends' couches. The youth…The youth…The youth. How are we caring for them when they can’t enter the club scene or attend Pride events for a wide variety of reasons? You see, what the shooter took away was life—on many levels. And we are feeling it. It will take time to process this. So no, many of us aren’t ok—far from it—but who has the words for all of this?

​“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say
​to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ~Fred Rogers

Fred Rogers Public Domain

There are helpers. In many ways, I am one—but man alive it’s hard for me to get there. Who have been the helpers? Yes, there are many heroes who were present during and right after the event. The care-givers in the hospital are at the top of the list for me along with the first responders, too. Friends have been my lampposts this week and have helped me. I’m doing my best to connect with others and make resources available.

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Tulane Public Relations

Click here to take you to Anderson Cooper's tribute of the victims from the Orlando shooting at Pulse Nightclub.

Anderson Cooper is a helper in that he helped our country learn who these victims were. Everyone was honored and you find out that they lived and had personality--just like you and me. Anderson Cooper humanized a situation that many people want to sweep under the carpet. The downside is that people were outed during this tragedy.

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Photo: Pixabay w/edits

And then there’s been isolation for me, too; and at the same time having to be and educator while in the pit of grief. I, like many in the queer community, am tired of having to explain to straight people, “What’s taking so long.” Or, “Did you know someone in Orlando?” Ugh, the exhaustion. Yes, I do know people there personally—and I, like so many, did receive alerts via Facebook safety feature—which was unsettling because it brought it home on a new level. Regardless, it’s called #MissingThePoint for crying out loud! (And I am crying out loud) We didn't have to know anyone there personally for us to have such deep grief. You can read last week's blog to see why each and everyone of us in the queer/trans community identifies with this tragic event. Straight people are back to work wondering why the queer community is such a mess—again. Maybe, just maybe if we had non-discrimination acts in place, the ability to go the the (expletive) bathroom in peace, or not have to fear the local bully--we would be more resilient. So I am asking for your patience on behalf of an entire community in mourning. Maybe just listen. Maybe read other articles, but don't be silent. Don't let it happen again.

And who's talking about queer people of color?

Photo: NOH8 via Everyday Feminism

Is anyone having this conversation?
I am doing my best to shed light and not erase the facts of the tragedy; however, as a cis, white person I am inevitably going screw it up...but not if I can help it.  
This was an hate crime committed during Latinx Night at a gay/queer club. A haven.  This tragedy hit a marginalized community within a marginalized community. When resources are spread thin…who is left behind? For people of color--specifically the trans population--and undocumented queer folks—this kind of attack hits to the core and resources are difficult to come by.

We need you, allies--now more than ever.

We need care and our care providers within the community (myself included) are worn out. We need our allies. Please be there for us. Let me repeat that: BE there for us. We need not only safe space but space without having to explain ourselves—that may not sound that difficult but it can go a long way. It can be live-giving and that is what matters.

Photo: Pixabay

I want you to know that you are loved.
FIERCELY! By me and the God I know. 
If you take nothing from this post other than that...I've done okay.
Wherever you are and whenever you read this--soak this in.

Here are some resources if you need them:

Queer People of Color Coalition: click here

Trans Lifeline: click here or call:
US: (877) 565-8860  Canada: (877) 330-6366

GLBT National Help Center: click here or call: (888) 843-4564

The Trevor Project: click here or call: (866) 488-386

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
click here or call: (800) 273-8255
Text "GO" to 741-741  24/7​

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