You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
~Mark Twain

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
~Thich Nhat Hanh

We're taught to be ashamed of confusion, anger, fear and sadness, and to me they're of equal value to happiness, excitement and inspiration.
~Alanis Morissette

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.
~Marie Curie

I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be.
~Iyanla Vanzant

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“Don’t judge me, but I like…” “Don’t judge me, but I just bought…” “Don’t judge me, but I am _____…” How often do we say hear this or even say something like it? Admittedly for me—quite often…too often. It appears that this may be the next adventure in healing. I was pondering this topic and then went to church this morning (10/23) and this was the subject matter for the sermon (based on Luke 18:9-14). The passage is one where Jesus is flipping the narrative (as was typical for him) of who is righteous and has a “pass” on judging others. Well, turns out the story highlights self righteousness and yes, that it is unacceptable to the Rabbi from Nazareth—and it turns out no one has a pass on judging others. One of the take aways from the sermon resonating with me is, “Love is more powerful than being right.” Dang. I've heard this phrased other ways but it packs a punch from the pulpit.

And then it’s time for the rubber to hit the road. I, like the minister in church today, enjoy being right. However, as I’ve gotten older and maybe a *little* wiser, I realize I enjoy friendships and connections. Yes, it’s true—and judging each other and the desire to be right gets in the way of authentic connection. Sure, that’s a no-brainer. How easy is this to practice in our daily routines? How often do you correct people on Internet forums or social media—or see others correcting people? Sure, we can’t participate in the “dumbing down of our nation,” but there is also a way to do it tactfully and without appearing arrogant or superior.

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If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.
~Brené Brown

As the quote from Brené Brown alludes to, it’s about recognizing where we may feel deficient or lacking. In order to fill that void we often feel the need to prove ourselves. When I get real about it, it’s about the deficiency from my childhood in relationship with my sibling. She was the shining star in academics. There was no way for me to compete with that level of genius. She was literally in a league of her own. I, on the other hand, landed in remedial reading groups, remedial math, and just about any other subject. I couldn’t keep up. In all honesty, I didn’t want to. It wasn’t worth it—I was never going to be at that level. After my experiences with family this summer, I realize that my emotional life was overflowing and I had no coping or processing skills—and that took up parts of my brain needed for learning and remembering things. I, too, was in a league of my own—but there was no one there to understand my issues and I couldn’t articulate them.

Fast-forward to when I gained enough confidence to excel at the collegiate level—I became the enemy. I had little patience for people who weren’t willing to put in the time or effort to finish the assignments. Fast-forward to when I was in graduate school…it was even worse. Again, who was there to lend a hand or some sage words of advice? (crickets) Yes, I had to go through some humbling in order to stop being my own worst enemy. I’ve also had to find forgiveness within the deepest reaches of my being so that I can get back to center. It’s been quite a journey to find balance. It will continue to be a journey. As the minister said today, “God’s love is big enough to bigger than our sins.” Thank heavens!! Ultimately, that’s what it comes down to—a recognition that there is a force greater than ourselves that loves us, forgives us, and wants us to share this with others. We can’t do that if our ability to judge others outweighs our ability to see the child of God before us. It’s our choice.

When you are spiritually connected, you are not looking for occasions to be offended, and you are not judging and labeling others. You are in a state of grace in which you know you are connected to God and thus free from the effects of anyone or anything external to yourself.
~Wayne Dyer

I trust in nature for the stable laws of beauty and utility.
​Spring shall plant and autumn garner to the end of time.
~Robert Browning

Everything is changing. Perhaps that a silly phrase—of course everything’s changing. Our bodies are actively regenerating, the cosmos continues to grow and shift, organizations experience turnover and growth, and so on. It’s not a silly realization when one is in the midst of life changes: births, deaths, relationships ending or beginning, living situations changing, and so on. We are continually changing; however, it depends on where we are in the cycle as to how deep the impact is felt. And yes, it’s autumn—the season we all recognize as a time to let go of what no longer serves. It’s a period of letting go and preparing for dormancy. What do you need to release?

Progress is impossible without change, and those who
cannot change their minds cannot change anything. 
~George Bernard Shaw

You can probably guess that I’m in the middle of a life/situation change. I am in the process of finding a new home (and no I’m not going to be posting location details on the internet, thank you!). It’s been a long time coming and I feel like I am ready (though excited and nervous at the same time). Because I have been following what’s happening energetically on the planet (and stars, too!), I understand that it is important to pay attention to signs and signals. I’ve been in denial for a while now and it’s time to emerge. My comfort zone has become uncomfortable and uninhabitable. Yes, even spiritually inclined people trip and fall through life. However, I’m back to paying attention and ready to walk the walk of authenticity (though excited and nervous at the same time).

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality. 
~Nikos Kazantzakis

What has helped pave the way for these changing? Well, yes, I continue to do healing on emotional issues on a regular basis. What else has helped?—the  chakra classes I began a couple weeks ago (click here to learn more). Yes, these class discussions that include meditation and other healings have begun to build the foundation of change. I still am surprised when I see the effectiveness and results of laying the inner foundation on an energetic level. Perhaps I shouldn’t—but it still rocks my world when I see the impact. I’ve also been participating in physical therapy for my ankle and that has given me more confidence physically to do what I need to do for all these changes. It’s not an accident that these classes, physical therapy, and location change all are happening at the same time. The energy of each activity is influencing the other. There are parts that need a confidence boost here and there, but that will come.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Family reunions. These two words can conjure just about anything. What comes to mind when you hear these words? Do you eagerly anticipate such events? Or, do you run to the hills screaming when an invitation comes in the mail? Are you the first one to RSVP and arrange your travel? For better or worse, family is part of our lives.  We come to the planet and these are the first people to greet us. And yes, if you haven't figured out by now...I'm preparing to attend my family reunion in the next couple days.

Our family will be gathering in Falmouth, Massachusetts for several days. I am looking forward to this experience as I have vague memories of a gathering with Tafels when I was a small child. It will be interesting to meet a wide variety of relatives for the first time. Historically speaking, the family gathers every other year and meets in either Europe or America. I am extremely blessed to be able to attend this event. At the same time, I'm kind of shaking in my boots--because of my nuclear family who will also be attending.

Perhaps we refer to these relations as nuclear for a particular reason (ha ha ha). As I said above, these are the first people who greet us on the planet. For some, it's a lovely experience with challenges here are there but done in a loving home with a solid foundation. For some, family is a foreign concept and relationships were forged in foster and adoptive settings. For some of us...the experience of childhood and adolescence was laden with minefields and volcanic relationships passing as family.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Photo Credit: Pixabay Images

Photo Credit: Pixabay Images

I made it through the rest of my senior year and to graduation. It was nothing short of a miracle but the end was in sight and I hung on to the promise of freedom. However, what people failed to mention was that “freedom” was a thinly veiled word for lots of responsibility, but I digress. Once I removed the initial layer of pain and grief, I saw that there was a world ready to be discovered. I wasn’t going to attend college full time so I had options before me. I worked and found that I was interested in modeling (people told me I had a pretty face) and then acting school—a love I developed in junior high but didn’t pursue due to not being fully settled and between homes for a few years around that time. It turns out that I’m a bad actress (humbling to realize when you have a love for it)—but I LOVE character development. The human psyche as uncharted territory became a new passion. It turns out that I found a new way to process all these emotions from my past. There were a few times I went a wee bit too far down the rabbit hole—but I had a teacher who helped me find my way back. The possibilities were endless. It was thrilling!

Photo Credit: Pixabay Images Photo Credit: Pixabay Images

Photo Credit: Pixabay Images

Fast-forward to today. Have I really changed all that much?--God I hope so! LOL Seriously, I went from no tools for processing my past experience (read: the emotions I carried within me from past experiences and my neural processes for coping in these situations)--to an abundance of processing tools. I owe a great deal to my teacher, friend and mentor, Brenda Power. We met through a mutual friend and I learned amazing amounts of knowledge as well as the tools I use today to release the garbage from the past. "Take out the trash," they say. Well, I have. Am I done? Nope. Still living and breathing on the planet which means miles to go yet. **Don't be afraid to look within--that's where you'll find the answers. I'm not kidding!**

Am I really heading into the lion's den? Not really--that is just an outdated story that is ready to transform. I will be doing some healing homework before I board the plane.  Does this sound familiar? What are your stories ready for transformation? Hit me up...would love to compare notes.  ​

Photo Credit: Pixabay Images

Cats win one more time!

Photo: Pixabay

Here we are again. It's another week with tragedy and drama unfolding on the news channels. It seems like it's been that way more often than not.  My take--systems that need an overhaul and have been participating in years of oppression are finally seeing the light of day.

So what do we do with all the pain and trauma porn?
How can we find our footing again?

I'm glad you asked. As someone invested in helping others and specifically coming from an alternative healing position--it's time to process this negativity. Maybe you are someone who uses writing as a tool to get things out of your system. This is a great start. It's important to know what it is that needs to come to surface in order to be processed out of one's system.

Photo: Pixabay

Maybe you need something more. 
There IS something for everyone.

Photo: Pixabay Photo: Pixabay

Personally, I love Emotional Freedom Technique. This is a healing modality that can get to the root of issues and process the negative energy out. Grief, anger, hatred, confusion, and more are debilitating. I believe it is what can lead to a myriad of physical ailments. I know I'm not alone in this. Get that crap out of your body!! Donna Eden is a pioneer in energy medicine and all-around awesome spirit on this planet. She can help you get going with her energy routines like this one. Meditation is an ancient cure-all (well, you know what I mean). Centering and grounding are key to getting our feet back under us when it feels like the world is falling apart. Here's a good example.

Maybe you need to journey with your faith tradition to find answers and healing.

I get that it's not for everyone. The great news is that we have the freedom (in our country) to practice faith in all its variety of forms. I come from a Christian background and yet I also find ways to strengthen my relationship with the God of my understanding through a variety of spiritual practices. This week, it was a chakra balancing meditation that helped me.

Photo: Pixabay

And then there is a need for action.
I believe it is healthy to challenge systems of oppression.
We have the right to assemble and speak truth to power.

Photo: Pixabay

At the end of the day we have to pick our battles. It is my opinion that marching, protesting, speaking out, and preaching from the pulpit in favor of those who are losing their lives unjustly is what can shift the narrative. It's been used for decades as a way to better our nation--we need to continue this practice. By the way, just because I am taking a stand for justice does not mean that I am against other folks. Here is a video that makes this point clearer than I can. Also, you may need a refresher on the herstory of Black Lives Matter--the movement in question this week--a movement I support.

There is work to be done. Take care of yourself. 
You matter.